So today I woke up and started to think about how quickly this baby is going to be in our lives. It excites me but also brings along all of these irrational fears of motherhood. You know how some people say, they just can't picture themselves being old, or married.. I never pictured myself being a mother. Sounds crazy but even as a child, I had these dreams that I would die young. Too young to be a mom. I also dreamt that I wouldn't get married either, but that has happened. I know these dreams are irrational, but I always just thought that's how it was going to be. Now that I am more than half way through this pregnancy, I am getting nervous. I know I am great with kids, I always have had a thing with kids. They tend to attach to me quickly which always made me think I would be a good mom. Right now I think it is a combo of pregnancy hormones, and the fear of the unknown that has had me feeling nervous.
Knowing I have about 17 weeks left before my baby is here, I am excited, anxious, nervous, fearful of actually giving birth all wrapped into one bundle of nerves.
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